When Parents Become More Like Friends to Their Children than Who They Really Need to Be
Being a Christian parent can be extremely hard. Sometimes life will breeze by but there are so many times when you have got to be the hard-nosed parent which will almost make you feel hated by your child. When parents feel like their child is pushing them away because they feel they are being unfair, this might cause a parent (or both) to step back and give in to their child’s wishes.
What Happens to Children When a Parent Steps Out of the Authoritative Role?
When children begin to see that their parents have started being more like a friend to them, they will change too. At first, it will feel like everything is grand and going great, but things will change whether you notice it at first or not. Your child will start taking advantage of you and your kindness. If you say no to anything after they have heard a yes for everything, you will probably see your child throw a tantrum as a friend-only parent will bring up spoiled children. You will notice that a child that doesn’t have an authority figure in their lives will begin to take their spoiled attitude to the outside world. They will expect others to give to them the way their parents do and will have a bad attitude if they are told any different.
Your child will begin to expect everything and in return they will not feel as though they have to give anything. You can forget about being able to control them after a while of living under no rules because they will set their own rules. They will not take a second thought about breaking any rules because to them, they will feel as though rules do not apply to them.
There is a Time for Both Characteristics: Parent & Friend
Both of these roles are important to bringing up a well-rounded Christian child. Just because you have to put your foot down on certain things, does mean there cannot be time for fun, games, and bonding. Children, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, really need authority. They need to learn how to obey parents and to understand that there are consequences to disobedience. If they do not learn it while they are young, the will have a hard life when they are older.
Spend time with your children, making them feel important, but make sure they understand they are the kids and you are the boss. There should be as much quality time spend with your children as possible. This will create a family bond that is unbreakable. They will see the fun side of you and will feel the love you have for them.
When you do have to discipline your child they may not like it and their attitude may say they hate you (if they do not say it out loud in the heat of their emotions), they will respect you. The respect show instantly, but it will. Children who have a structured home with rules and consequences do better in society when they are adults. Remember always to explain why you are disciplining your child before you do it and afterwards too. Once they have a chance to calm down ask them why they were disciplined and what they did in order to have to be disciplined. Making sure they understand will help them see what they did wrong so that hopefully they will not do it again. Also, make sure to reassure them that you love them and explain why you have to discipline them for that type of disobedience. Helping them understand why you are doing what you do will help them understand that you are not doing it because you dislike them, but because you love them.