The role of a parent couldn’t be more important. It’s their job to discipline their child, fill them with self confidence, and put them on the right path to becoming a good person.
As there is no blueprint to being a good parent, many decide to do it their own way. While some do amazing jobs, others fall into common traps. One of those traps is becoming a friend to your child, rather than remaining as their parent.
While this may seem like a nice thing to do, especially as doing this helps you bond closely, it actually does your child more harm than good. Here’s why.
Your Child Needs to Learn About Authority
Children have many negative influences around them, which is why they need somebody to be firm with them in order to keep them in line. Peer pressure may be responsible for them doing something they wouldn’t do otherwise, meaning a child needs to know there’s punishment involved whenever they cross a line.
Friends Don’t Discipline Each Other
When your child steps out of line, he or she will need to be disciplined. How you discipline your child is up to you, but what should remain consistent among all parents is that some form of discipline takes place.
When you put yourself on the same level as your child, you become their equal, not their guardian. It can be extremely hard to discipline them in this situation, meaning you face an awkward experience yourself if you want to do the right thing.
Your Child Needs to Grow
A child-parent bond can never be broken. But just because it’s extremely powerful, it doesn’t mean that it’s all your child needs.
He or she should seek out other fulfilling relationships, with friends, and when older, with lovers. These people should be who your child shares their hopes and dreams with, which is the healthy thing for any young person to do.
Your Child Needs to Make Their Own Mistakes
If your child listens attentively to every word you say, their emotional growth is going to be stunted. Part of life at a young age is making mistakes. While you don’t want your child to go off into the deep end, you do want them to experience what it is to fail at something. This teaches them maturity, and will help them develop their own moral compass. Your goal isn’t to protect your child until they become an adult, it’s to help them grow into a fine young man or woman.
As traditional roles blur in our modern society, it’s even more tempting to become a friend to your child. Know that your child doesn’t need friends, though. They almost certainly have plenty.
What they do need is a parent. They only have two of those, and will never have others. So play the role of parent to your child. It will allow each of you to do the job for each other that God intended you to do.
Some Bible verses to live by-
Proverbs 22:6– Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Exodus 20:12– Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Ephesians 6:4– Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Proverbs 13:24– Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Hebrews 12:7-11– It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
There are many more Bible verses that could be added to the above, but my point is we must love our children in spite of their ups and downs. Remember that long ago, you were your parents joy and sometimes nightmare.
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